Seasons of Life - Mom of Adults
There has been lots to do recently. Yard work, work in general, vaccinations and family time in general. Like any mom I feel like the list of to do’s are never ending and often interrupted. Even in this season of my life where all of my kids are adults. I still have a well loved and busy home. Thursdays have been become a day where everyone with the exception of my son in law are here. We share a family meal or do some kind of activity or just chill.
Last week due to the mild side effects from my second shot of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, I vlogged 6 out the 7 days. (My side effects were a sore arm and low grade fever. ) A silly family time moment included in the vlog. I didn’t really feel it was that interesting to vlog every day. Some days I just do boring stuff and if you know me personally I am a terrible liar. I can’t make something uninteresting seem interesting. So, don’t expect to see many vlogs like that in the future.
Honestly, this is not what I envisioned what this time of my life would be like. I don’t actually know what I envisioned. Maybe my kids would go off on their ways. They have really, they just come home often and seem to like me. Is it a sign that I did something right? Perhaps? I think when you come from a dysfunctional family (like I did) and have to recover from a big trauma (like I did -a divorce and ex spouse’s alcoholism), you have to redirect energy where its needed. Just like any job/task the energy that you put into it is typically what you get out of it. I gave and still give my children everything I have. I am not perfect and they will tell you that I definitely did not do everything right. I am human and just like everyone else my shit does stink too.
I mention this because I received a few very kind messages from friends randomly over the past month giving me some of the best compliments about my relationship with my children.
“You seem so close.” That’s the common thread of each message. They came from moms with younger ones and kids that my kids’ ages. While it feels really good to hear that, I just want to drop the reminder that I am not perfect nor is anything that goes on here. I share mostly the good stuff. The kids still fight, they still get mad at me and cups are left out on every surface of my house every time they are around. Some still live at home, partly due to the pandemic but mostly because college and Western Washington is expensive in general.
I feel like with compliments like that, the underlying question is what is the secret? Aside from what I’ve already mentioned about effort, the only thing I’d add is knowing who you are.
Me: I was a single mom at 18. I didn’t come from anything grand. I’ve made A LOT of mistakes. Those are all things that people can judge me on. I learned after some time, I didn’t actually give a shit about those judgements. I learned that sometimes those who portray to be a certain way are just doing that, portraying. Things are just things, our connections with people is what matters and is life’s true gift.
Related to that, if I had to recommend only one TED Talk it would be Candy Chang’s - Before I die I want to… talk.
Life is one big roller coaster friends. Ups and downs all the time. Just try to ride it the best you can.
xo-Thea