Love in a time of COVID-19: Grant's Long Con, The Extended Version

For about two years, my eldest daughter Jina has been engaged to her guy Grant. We often joke that Grant has been precisely executing a long con to get Jina to marry him. They have known each other for a very long time and went to the same high school. They did not date then or even in college. Or did my daughter know that she was going out on a date with Grant, when they had their first date. They are a handsome couple who are really two peas in a pod. They will have a few good stories to tell their children someday. With the bonus of the pandemic causing a postponement of their wedding.

This is what I shared yesterday (March 25, 2020) on my private social media accounts:

Today, if there wasn’t a world wide pandemic going on I would’ve been walking my daughter Jina down the aisle.

The handsome couple: Grant & Jina.

The handsome couple: Grant & Jina.

Jina and Grant had long planned an intimate destination wedding out of the US. After it became unsafe to travel they modified their wedding plans - twice. Then they ultimately had to postpone it. It has been a stack of disappointments one right after another for J & G. Everyone in our clan felt completely defeated for them.

Their wedding day will happen. No sympathies necessary. Just do your part in helping to slow COVID-19. Don’t ask them when it will be either, there is no way to guess that at this time.

On the side lines as Jina’s mom, there has been very little I could do aside from being there to listen. Grant and Jina are master taskmasters for 25 year olds. They are both highly ambitious people and get things done. However, even they had disheartening moments with the over flowing river of changes to not only their personal plans, but the whole planet’s too.

They shifted to having the wedding on originally planned day at home when non essential travel was dissuaded. Once that idea came about, both parental units went into action. His family secured a place and food and drink. We were in charge of decor, music and any thing Jina needed. (Her dress was designed for tropical weather.) My youngest son Trevor became ordained to perform the ceremony. Boxes of decor pieces and bridal accessories poured through our doors. Each one got sprayed with Lysol. Sketches of signs that we were to laser cut were done. Miniature bottles to put the coveted hand sanitizer in for each guest were acquired. Then our Governor started to introduce words in his daily briefings that we all knew a “shelter in place” order or the like was coming. The inevitable postponement was going to happen.

Defeated on making it happen on the planned day, but not on the ultimate goal. They are safe and healthy as well as both of their parental units. That’s all that matters right now. Tune back in post pandemic for the rest of the story.

xo-Thea

New Decade Day 1

Last night John and I were up really late researching movies from 20 years ago. It was weird to use because to us, 2000 doesn’t really feel that long ago.

December 2019 - Process shot of a custom piece for myself. It had been a long time since I created a piece for myself.

December 2019 - Process shot of a custom piece for myself. It had been a long time since I created a piece for myself.

I’m totally in the phase of life where everything is a blur. My children are grown. Big life events come at me like a freight train. Long gone are the days of routine and filling my days with planned snacks and naps. Although, I think John would enjoy that. But here we are, day one of a new decade. This year alone there are two big life events happening. My eldest is getting married. Then my youngest is graduating high school. We know how to start a decade off with a big bang.

December 2019 - Jina is 24, I figured it was time to get her the expensive dollhouse she’s always wanted. (Presents under the tree for 8 people and 2 dogs. + My birthday presents.) Photo edited with A Color Story - Cozy Filter.

December 2019 - Jina is 24, I figured it was time to get her the expensive dollhouse she’s always wanted. (Presents under the tree for 8 people and 2 dogs. + My birthday presents.) Photo edited with A Color Story - Cozy Filter.

Rolling back a minute, included in this post are photos from Christmas. Which also happens to be my birthday. I share many photos on my private IG, 6 by 6 and I’m just now getting back into the groove of sharing on my public account. I’ve long neglected this blog and my shop because of 6 by 6 . Last year we were able to hone in on some products and discontinue a few, which allowed us to streamline many things. It’s funny that even though I have experience with manufacturing with this company, I still made many of the same mistakes I did when I first started this in 2003.

December 2019 - My custom made kanzashi for my birthday.

December 2019 - My custom made kanzashi for my birthday.

December 25, 2019 Me on my birthday.Dress: VooDoo Vixen Purse: Little Rooms

December 25, 2019 Me on my birthday.

Dress: VooDoo Vixen Purse: Little Rooms

With all that said, I finally feel free to create a bit. I love January - also known as “Pajamuary” in the maker’s world. Post holiday rush I actually feel energized to work on things that I’ve shelved. It’s weird how much of a rollercoaster life can actually be. To complete the conversation from the first paragraph of this post, last night we settled on watching one of my favorite movies; Chocolat. Which I hope serves as a whimsical inspiration for me this month.

Happy New Year - New Decade!

xo-Thea

2 - 0

Entries here have been sparse. Typically I'm occupied with working for both of my companies and handling my domestic life. Just like anyone else. Sporadic posts of process work pictures and upcoming events is the best I have to offer at the moment. I did want to document some thoughts about an event this Saturday.

My eldest daughter Jina is turning 20 years old. A new decade of life for the girl who was by my side at every craft/work show for 10 years. If you've visited me at any local show you definitely have met her. She's been my sidekick since I was almost 19. As her mom, its surreal, I feel as if I am still in my twenties.  

Jina and I  - 1998

Jina and I  - 1998

Jina is half way through college, double majoring in accounting and economics and will have a minor in anthropology. She works hard makes final tests her "bitch" and will most definitely be someone's boss someday. I wake up everyday totally amazed that I created this human. I mean we didn't have the best start, I like to compare it to the poor people version of the Gilmore Girls. The same amount of coffee, witty banter and closeness that Lorelai and Rory shared though. I'm also kind of an asshole. Who knew I'd produce a stellar young lady?

Proof, that in fact she was born with that incredible head of hair. Jina on her birthday 1995.

Proof, that in fact she was born with that incredible head of hair. Jina on her birthday 1995.

The greatest compliment I've ever received is the comment "I hope my daughter and I are as close as you are to your daughter(s)." It's nice that it's obvious, I've worked hard to unlock this achievement. Over the years at times it was hard to treat Jina like a human being. Barfing on me at the grocery store when she was a baby, toddler tantrums, ridiculous obsessions with the musicals and thieving stuff from my closet. It all comes attached with parenting right?  Honestly, you can prepare all you like to become and be a parent. Or you can just wing it. Which is what I did and still am doing to this day. Nothing is predictable for this parenting game and you have to take things as they come.  Just like life in general. 

My daughters and I on my home "rocK". Photo by "Carol Anne"  2012

My daughters and I on my home "rocK". Photo by "Carol Anne"  2012

Twenty years of parenting in the bag. The best part of me walks around with her face and with better brains than I have. She's interesting and interested, an accomplishment she owns all the credit for. She has sass, a strong will and knows to say "I love you" even at the end of a difficult conversation with her mother - which I will take credit for. As well as that great head of hair. 

Me and my girl - 2015

Me and my girl - 2015

Happy 20th to my number 1 lady. 

xo- Thea

Mother's Day

We're approaching Mother's Day which means a lot of different things to different people. Some want to be pampered and showered with gifts. Some just want to sleep in. Some want the day to just pass by. I didn't grow up with a mother (my mom is very much alive and doing well, my parents divorced when I was little and I lived with my dad) so every holiday was Father's Day! I don't have anything against Mother's Day. I mean, I am a mom. But I think it has less of a meaning to me than it does to others. 

When I was married, my ex-husband did a lot for me on Mother's Day. It was very sweet, a bit over the top but nice. But every year I pretty much want the same thing, a picture of myself with my kids. This is a larger task than you would think when you have a handful of children. No one looks at the camera at the same time or acts right. I might as well ask for a miracle every year.

2009 A typical picture of my children.  Please note, only one of my children is smiling nicely.

2009 A typical picture of my children.  Please note, only one of my children is smiling nicely.

Even in the time of selfies and posting everything on social media, it is nice to have a good picture of your family. If you can accomplish that.

2012 - Three out of four. Not too bad. 

2012 - Three out of four. Not too bad. 

Together.

2009 - My children, mom and myself. 

2009 - My children, mom and myself. 

Not doing weird things with your faces. 

I'll have to let you know the result of this year's picture after the fact. Almost 20 years into this parenthood game, it's just become a comical annual occurrence. Someone tries to sabotage the photos by flipping the bird, sticking their tongues out, looking to the left, looking to the right, choking someone...

Full disclosure: Not all moms are the same. Some DO expect more than just picture. Flowers, chocolates and massages might be expected. KNOW YOUR MOM! Quite frankly, I wouldn't hate it if someone else did the dang dishes for a day. Im pretty sure every mom likes looking at what they made in a picture. A nice picture that is. Especially when they start leaving home. This is why your own parents have those "awesome" portraits of you littered all over their homes. Ones from the bad hair years. Yeah, those are great.

Happy Mother's Day!

xo-Thea

When you don't call I think you're dead.

For those of you who haven't followed me over the past few years, I am mother of four. Two girls and two boys. I'll soon have two step daughters as well. When I do something I do it big. My biological kids are all teenagers currently. My eldest is my brainy beauty away at college who will be turning 20 next month. My eldest son is 18 and graduates high school in a little over a month and a half. My younger son is 16 and will soon have his driver's license. My youngest is 13 and is the blonde version of me. Full of sass, comedy and ridiculousness. She represents all that you an imagine of the youngest child. Babied since birth, shielded from R rated movies and bro talk amongst the older brothers when their friends are over. It's hard to not default to that as a mom too. 

My kids in age order 12/25/2014

My kids in age order 12/25/2014

I would call my parenting style easy going. I don't waste my time and energy task mastering things like the cleanliness of their rooms. If they can sleep in it, I have a walking path in and out and they keep the door shut - I don't care. I learned to pick my battles early on. I choose to task master the "for the good of the family" tasks. Also admittedly, I am still mad at my own mother for throwing away a perfectly worn in ripped knee pair of Levi Jeans when she cleaned  unsolicitedly my room when I was 10. I respect their spaces even if it's a sty. Friends are welcome to come over after school to play videos games or just hang out. But god help you if you don't call me to let me know where you are. Fellow parents say it with me; "When you don't call I think you're dead."

In this day and age and by the amount I pay for our cellphone usage, there is no freaking excuse as to why you cannot notify me of your location. I don't consider that babying but I openly admit to freaking out a little more when the baby doesn't call/text. Okay fine, I get worried when the college kid doesn't send me random "Mommy, it's raining and I walked to class and I hate everything!"texts frequently. Baby girl did just this to me recently. She had volleyball practice and didn't know ahead of time and didn't LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY. So for a good 30 minutes I ran all the obvious scenarios in my head like, "Maybe she had practice today?" "Maybe the school is on lock down due to a bear sighting." - Legit reason for suburban folks, trust me. "Maybe someone kidnapped her!?!?!" "Maybe she's dead!?!?!". ALL REASONABLE THOUGHTS! I sent about 10 texts and called of course when she didn't show up at home at her normal time. My first assumption was thankfully correct. I also had the reassurance from my son's friend whose younger sister attends the same junior high my daughter does and saw my girl after school at the gym. The point is these darn kids have no excuse to not to connect with their parents. Sometimes all we need to know is that you're alive. That's it. 

And in those types of moments, I understand my own father who had to reign in the thoughtless teenager version of me in the cellphoneless time. Full circle, yo. 

xo-Thea Starr