Just An Old Biddy - The Almost Empty Nester

My sons moved out (again) yesterday. We’re all close as a family and I often feature them in my blog/vlog. I think the assumption after your nest is empty you turn into an old biddy. While, I’ve let my grey grow out and I’m into old vintage things, I’m far from being a biddy.

I recently told my sister in law who has a toddler and one on the way, the days are long but the years are short. Offspring grow up fast. But In my experience so far, you will always be needed and called on. Often. Have you met my kids? Or even just watched us in my videos?

My sons only moved a few miles away and I feel lucky for that too. College and work opportunities is stuff only the big city can provide in this season of their lives. I did it too.

My next chapter already has a line up of projects, family stuff and cleaning because my boys are messy.

Also, my nest isn’t empty my youngest a college student, still lives at home (college student too). The only one of my kids that doesn’t have to share a bathroom. In a large family that is a HUGE deal. Especially when brothers are involved.

I’m not sure if I will have time for a video this week since I’m sorting all of the remainders from my boys’ move. But check out my Instagram this week. I recently happened upon some really fun vintage stuff recently that I am very excited to share.

xo- thea

Vintage 1970's Nishijin Pachinko Machine + Mother's Day 2021

I took a hint and a few nudges and very recently started sharing some vintage things I’ve happened upon or acquired. First was my 1940’s Vanity. That was on my wishlist for so long, I felt it warranted a dedicated vlog/blog post.

Just a few days after acquiring my vanity another long wished for item was checked off of my list.

A vintage Pachinko Machine!

After some Mother’s Day shenanigans, John and I share a bit about the machine in my video this week. John did have to do some light repair with more to do in the near future. It is fully functional and super fun. it is everything I hoped it would be. As mentioned in the video, we do intend to mount it on a wall of our family room and do an entire photoshoot around it. Because, it’s us.

Admittedly, the entire reason I’ve wanted one is due to the movie Kamikaze Girls. That movie influenced so many aspects of my life when it came out. I often say that my aesthetic is a cross between Kamikaze Girls and Morticia Addams. At least I aspire it to be that.

My bebes doing pictures right.

My Mother’s Day was a good one. One of my long standing gifts for Mother’s Day is a group photo. As you can see, we get creative with that too. I love my brood, they are a fun bunch. I am extremely lucky.

Not sure where Trevor is for this picture but this is one of my favorite pictures from this weekend.

For those of you who follow me for fabric, you are in luck. This week I am adding some new vintage fabric yardage (That’s right yardage!) to my Etsy shop. I have some incredible mid century deadstock fabric that I plan to take an obscene amount of photos of.

Stay tuned for that.

xo-Thea

Seasons of Life - Mom of Adults

There has been lots to do recently. Yard work, work in general, vaccinations and family time in general. Like any mom I feel like the list of to do’s are never ending and often interrupted. Even in this season of my life where all of my kids are adults. I still have a well loved and busy home. Thursdays have been become a day where everyone with the exception of my son in law are here. We share a family meal or do some kind of activity or just chill.

Last week due to the mild side effects from my second shot of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, I vlogged 6 out the 7 days. (My side effects were a sore arm and low grade fever. ) A silly family time moment included in the vlog. I didn’t really feel it was that interesting to vlog every day. Some days I just do boring stuff and if you know me personally I am a terrible liar. I can’t make something uninteresting seem interesting. So, don’t expect to see many vlogs like that in the future.

Honestly, this is not what I envisioned what this time of my life would be like. I don’t actually know what I envisioned. Maybe my kids would go off on their ways. They have really, they just come home often and seem to like me. Is it a sign that I did something right? Perhaps? I think when you come from a dysfunctional family (like I did) and have to recover from a big trauma (like I did -a divorce and ex spouse’s alcoholism), you have to redirect energy where its needed. Just like any job/task the energy that you put into it is typically what you get out of it. I gave and still give my children everything I have. I am not perfect and they will tell you that I definitely did not do everything right. I am human and just like everyone else my shit does stink too.

I mention this because I received a few very kind messages from friends randomly over the past month giving me some of the best compliments about my relationship with my children.

Jina and Thea Starr drinking Aeprol spritzes.

“You seem so close.” That’s the common thread of each message. They came from moms with younger ones and kids that my kids’ ages. While it feels really good to hear that, I just want to drop the reminder that I am not perfect nor is anything that goes on here. I share mostly the good stuff. The kids still fight, they still get mad at me and cups are left out on every surface of my house every time they are around. Some still live at home, partly due to the pandemic but mostly because college and Western Washington is expensive in general.

I feel like with compliments like that, the underlying question is what is the secret? Aside from what I’ve already mentioned about effort, the only thing I’d add is knowing who you are.

Me: I was a single mom at 18. I didn’t come from anything grand. I’ve made A LOT of mistakes. Those are all things that people can judge me on. I learned after some time, I didn’t actually give a shit about those judgements. I learned that sometimes those who portray to be a certain way are just doing that, portraying. Things are just things, our connections with people is what matters and is life’s true gift.

Related to that, if I had to recommend only one TED Talk it would be Candy Chang’s - Before I die I want to… talk.

Life is one big roller coaster friends. Ups and downs all the time. Just try to ride it the best you can.

xo-Thea

Spring Organizing Without The OCD

I’ve been a little MIA this week from textiles. I’ve let the spring season posses me and drive me to do things like organize and plant stuff. While I m passionate about planting stuff, I have to say that I’m not a strict organizer these days. In the era of organizing themed shows and media, I feel like I owe a little explanation.

The bounty of shoes and coats from our front closet.

80 pairs of shoes organized.

In the very beginning of when I became a mother at 18, I was insanely organized. I owe a lot of that to the Asian cultural upbringing. We even had those hard plastic carpet runners in my childhood home to protect the carpet. If you know, you know. I’m American too, but we didn’t wear shoes in our house like my friends did. There’s a few other cultural things along those lines that I took into into my own adult life. It was the way of life for me. It was comforting and something I always could control.

When I was younger I have to admit, I was way more intense with things. Things were o-r-g-a-n-i-z-e-d always. Closets were colored coordinated. Cans were facing all the same way in the pantry. Towels were clean and fresh and hanging properly. (Ever see the movie Sleeping with the Enemy?) I would even comb the fringe of the carpet to make it lay correctly. Writing that all out now a decade+ later is humbling and introspective for me.

At that time, I didn’t know that I was actually processing things like someone who has obsessive compulsive disorder. In life, I think we often go about things and think nothing of it until someone points it out to you. My ah-ha moment was when I had a friend over for dinner and during the dinner prep/cooking she calmly said to me “I just watched you wash your hands 10 times in under 5 minutes.” I was surprised and defensive as one would be and did nothing about it for years. But that comment stuck with me and weighed on me for awhile.

Flash forward a few years from that comment, my dad fell ill and ultimately passed on. It was a mentally and physically straining time for me as you would guess. Flash forward a bit more, I was getting a divorce now too. That season of my life was a tough one. Good things did come from it though. A roller derby league and a positive turn in my mental health. I won’t share my TEDTalk of my journey, I am just like you and I ride life’s roller coaster of changes, ups and downs and trie to navigate it the best I could.

But in that time I was able to release whatever possessed me or weighed me down to do things the way I did. I am conscious of my habits and rituals. I giggle at the idea of combing the carpet tassels straight now. The cans aren’t all facing outwards anymore. Unless it’s a joke, because that seems to be a serial killer trait in movies. We do still take off our shoes before coming into our house and my closet is still color coordinated because (aesthetics). I do really appreciate a well organized utensil drawer and a shoe closet (see above) too. I just don’t freak out about it looking perfect daily.

I still revel in finding easy ways to organize like using this photo storage box for my seeds.

Up until earlier this week I had rubber banded stacks of seeds stored in a beat, old, sad, cardboard box stored in my garage fridge. “Seeds” scribbled in Sharpie marker noting was it was. It wasn’t the best system for storing. Seeds would slide out and I’d sort though them looking for which stack had the thing I was looking for. This has been a easy gratifying solution for me.

The writing is still in Sharpie marker but things are easier to find with a quick glance.

Aside from the season spurring this topic, I know a handful of young people trying to sort adult life out. Its hard to not reflect on my own life during that time. It honestly doesn’t feel that long ago because I started so young. My words of wisdom to those young folks starting out and even to those of us who have an opportunity to start again, remember don’t be hard on yourselves. Being organized is awesome and feels good, but it should not be stressful. I promise you, there will be something else in life for you to stress out over.

And since I forgot to share this earlier this week - here’s my most recent vlog video. It features the majority of the young people in my life.

Hve an excellent weekend friends - Thea

Social Distancing.

* The links below are affiliate links.

My new lightbox. After it was set up, I questioned my life choices. She’s huge!

Vintage Sunset Embroidery kit.

Today began my “baby’s” (She’s 18) first day of online instruction. Our school district announced last week that they would do online instruction for two weeks due to the COVID-19 outbreak in our area. She’s a senior in high school so not a huge deal to us. Personally, our family is mostly low risk. Two family of our members do have underlying health conditions so, we have stepped up our self care of eating healthy, taking supplements and partaking in heighten personal and home cleanliness. My “baby” does work in the health care system though and the district’s move to online instruction was a good precautionary measure in my opinion. I think people tend to forget that many teachers are 60+, I’ve known a few to have cancer and I’m sure some care for elderly parents too. Prioritizing teachers in this situation with many unknowns is good.

Over the past few weeks of individual commentary, FB groups “debates” etc., I’ve personally had it with the hostile posts about everything under the sun. I feel like everyone wants to fight about something on FB so, I’m choosing to avoid it. I feel like that energy can be used to do better things, even if you are cooped up at home.

For me, aside from doing some greenhouse and backyard clean up, I bit the bullet and purchased a new light box. I take a ton of pictures for work and need a consistent setting. My old light box was and is great for small stuff. However, I would struggle with cramming bouquets and even some formal kanzashi pieces in it under the lights just right. So I decided to go big. Like super big, see the photo at the top to this post.

I discovered that I needed to move around within the photo booth to get my angles. After some research I decided to go with the big mama one. After it was set up, I honestly questioned my life decisions. One thing is for sure, I have no more excuses to not take photos of my work. I did hold off on that due to my photo issues but also my lack of interest of listing on Etsy. That will be another post though. Hahaha.

Lastly, my eldest and I planned on keeping this vintage Sunset Embroidery kit for our Bunco prize box. But, I might break into this bad boy for a little calming project to do. I’ll share more pictures of it on my Instagram. (The only social media I do enjoy.)

xo-Thea

2 - 0

Entries here have been sparse. Typically I'm occupied with working for both of my companies and handling my domestic life. Just like anyone else. Sporadic posts of process work pictures and upcoming events is the best I have to offer at the moment. I did want to document some thoughts about an event this Saturday.

My eldest daughter Jina is turning 20 years old. A new decade of life for the girl who was by my side at every craft/work show for 10 years. If you've visited me at any local show you definitely have met her. She's been my sidekick since I was almost 19. As her mom, its surreal, I feel as if I am still in my twenties.  

Jina and I  - 1998

Jina is half way through college, double majoring in accounting and economics and will have a minor in anthropology. She works hard makes final tests her "bitch" and will most definitely be someone's boss someday. I wake up everyday totally amazed that I created this human. I mean we didn't have the best start, I like to compare it to the poor people version of the Gilmore Girls. The same amount of coffee, witty banter and closeness that Lorelai and Rory shared though. I'm also kind of an asshole. Who knew I'd produce a stellar young lady?

Proof, that in fact she was born with that incredible head of hair. Jina on her birthday 1995.

The greatest compliment I've ever received is the comment "I hope my daughter and I are as close as you are to your daughter(s)." It's nice that it's obvious, I've worked hard to unlock this achievement. Over the years at times it was hard to treat Jina like a human being. Barfing on me at the grocery store when she was a baby, toddler tantrums, ridiculous obsessions with the musicals and thieving stuff from my closet. It all comes attached with parenting right?  Honestly, you can prepare all you like to become and be a parent. Or you can just wing it. Which is what I did and still am doing to this day. Nothing is predictable for this parenting game and you have to take things as they come.  Just like life in general. 

My daughters and I on my home "rocK". Photo by "Carol Anne"  2012

Twenty years of parenting in the bag. The best part of me walks around with her face and with better brains than I have. She's interesting and interested, an accomplishment she owns all the credit for. She has sass, a strong will and knows to say "I love you" even at the end of a difficult conversation with her mother - which I will take credit for. As well as that great head of hair. 

Me and my girl - 2015

Happy 20th to my number 1 lady. 

xo- Thea

Mother's Day

We're approaching Mother's Day which means a lot of different things to different people. Some want to be pampered and showered with gifts. Some just want to sleep in. Some want the day to just pass by. I didn't grow up with a mother (my mom is very much alive and doing well, my parents divorced when I was little and I lived with my dad) so every holiday was Father's Day! I don't have anything against Mother's Day. I mean, I am a mom. But I think it has less of a meaning to me than it does to others. 

When I was married, my ex-husband did a lot for me on Mother's Day. It was very sweet, a bit over the top but nice. But every year I pretty much want the same thing, a picture of myself with my kids. This is a larger task than you would think when you have a handful of children. No one looks at the camera at the same time or acts right. I might as well ask for a miracle every year.

2009 A typical picture of my children.  Please note, only one of my children is smiling nicely.

Even in the time of selfies and posting everything on social media, it is nice to have a good picture of your family. If you can accomplish that.

2012 - Three out of four. Not too bad. 

Together.

2009 - My children, mom and myself. 

Not doing weird things with your faces. 

I'll have to let you know the result of this year's picture after the fact. Almost 20 years into this parenthood game, it's just become a comical annual occurrence. Someone tries to sabotage the photos by flipping the bird, sticking their tongues out, looking to the left, looking to the right, choking someone...

Full disclosure: Not all moms are the same. Some DO expect more than just picture. Flowers, chocolates and massages might be expected. KNOW YOUR MOM! Quite frankly, I wouldn't hate it if someone else did the dang dishes for a day. Im pretty sure every mom likes looking at what they made in a picture. A nice picture that is. Especially when they start leaving home. This is why your own parents have those "awesome" portraits of you littered all over their homes. Ones from the bad hair years. Yeah, those are great.

Happy Mother's Day!

xo-Thea

When you don't call I think you're dead.

For those of you who haven't followed me over the past few years, I am mother of four. Two girls and two boys. I'll soon have two step daughters as well. When I do something I do it big. My biological kids are all teenagers currently. My eldest is my brainy beauty away at college who will be turning 20 next month. My eldest son is 18 and graduates high school in a little over a month and a half. My younger son is 16 and will soon have his driver's license. My youngest is 13 and is the blonde version of me. Full of sass, comedy and ridiculousness. She represents all that you an imagine of the youngest child. Babied since birth, shielded from R rated movies and bro talk amongst the older brothers when their friends are over. It's hard to not default to that as a mom too. 

My kids in age order 12/25/2014

I would call my parenting style easy going. I don't waste my time and energy task mastering things like the cleanliness of their rooms. If they can sleep in it, I have a walking path in and out and they keep the door shut - I don't care. I learned to pick my battles early on. I choose to task master the "for the good of the family" tasks. Also admittedly, I am still mad at my own mother for throwing away a perfectly worn in ripped knee pair of Levi Jeans when she cleaned  unsolicitedly my room when I was 10. I respect their spaces even if it's a sty. Friends are welcome to come over after school to play videos games or just hang out. But god help you if you don't call me to let me know where you are. Fellow parents say it with me; "When you don't call I think you're dead."

In this day and age and by the amount I pay for our cellphone usage, there is no freaking excuse as to why you cannot notify me of your location. I don't consider that babying but I openly admit to freaking out a little more when the baby doesn't call/text. Okay fine, I get worried when the college kid doesn't send me random "Mommy, it's raining and I walked to class and I hate everything!"texts frequently. Baby girl did just this to me recently. She had volleyball practice and didn't know ahead of time and didn't LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY. So for a good 30 minutes I ran all the obvious scenarios in my head like, "Maybe she had practice today?" "Maybe the school is on lock down due to a bear sighting." - Legit reason for suburban folks, trust me. "Maybe someone kidnapped her!?!?!" "Maybe she's dead!?!?!". ALL REASONABLE THOUGHTS! I sent about 10 texts and called of course when she didn't show up at home at her normal time. My first assumption was thankfully correct. I also had the reassurance from my son's friend whose younger sister attends the same junior high my daughter does and saw my girl after school at the gym. The point is these darn kids have no excuse to not to connect with their parents. Sometimes all we need to know is that you're alive. That's it. 

And in those types of moments, I understand my own father who had to reign in the thoughtless teenager version of me in the cellphoneless time. Full circle, yo. 

xo-Thea Starr